In this post-ironic age, we still remember these feelings. We still remember the rush of our first kiss. We still remember the first time we lost a tooth. We still remember the first time we saw an R rated movie.

-Watching Doug on Nickelodeon?
-Trying to understand Doug’s beatnik sister?
-Eating Dunkaroos and Lunchables?
-Taking Flintstones chewable vitamins?
-JOing to Britney Spears?
-Going to roller rinks holding hands with your girl crush so you wouldn’t fall down?
-Spending the night with your first girlfriend?
-Going to prom in a ridiculous limo?
-Not understanding Rocko’s Modern Life?
-Chatting on AIM all night instead of doing homework?
-Listening to the sound your dial-up modem made?
-Listening to Vitamin C’s Graduation song/Green Day’s Good Riddance before your graduation?
-Slow dancing to O-Town’s All or Nothing/Eve 6′s Here’s to the Night?
-Watching all the girls in your class obsess about The O.C./One Tree Hill?
-When everyone had a Razr phone?
-When everyone had a Razor scooter?
-Getting all your music from NOW?
-Deciding which seat to take?
-Watching Boy Meets World?
-Wearing Volcom/Vans/Quiksilver?
-Crushing on Lindsay Lohan in The Parent Trap?
-Watching Shia Labeouf in Even Stevens?
-Learning things from the Simpsons?
-Watching the Mark McGuire-Sammy Sosa homerun contest?
-Watching Michael Jordan, Dennis Rodman, and Scotty Pippen play for the Bulls?
-Watching Michael Jordan play for the White Sox?
-Watching Space Jam?
-Flying on planes without the extra security?
-Using VHS tapes and Walkmans?
-Buying CDs from your local record store?
-Hiding puberty boners from classmates behind binders?

I miss those days. But I feel like they weren’t as good as I remember. It was just life back then, just the daily routine. They didn’t have the same emotional weight back then that they do now. And someday I’ll look back at this era of my life, my time at Yale, and romanticize it in some excessively long listicle. But regardless, we still feel the power of nostalgia, the pull of those emotions, the template upon which we live our lives now. These things have made me who I am now, regardless of how real or not they were at the time. This is my post-authentic childhood.

Faithfully,
Miles Wayfarer

This video as of this posting has received over seven million views after being featured on the show Tosh.0. According to the buzz, Black’s video was produced by the Ark Music Factory, a studio that signs unknown teen girls and produces crappy music videos in the hope that they ‘make it’ like Justin Bieber. Numerous commentators have ridiculed the video as amateurish and the song itself as downright atrocious. No one really seems to ‘get’ it.

I’m going to go ahead and say that this video is one of the greatest piece of music to emerge in the last year. Yes, it’s true that the video is terribly produced, the lyrics make no sense, and the way Black pronounces “Friday” is cringe-worthy.

But this song is post-conceptual masterpiece. It seems like no one really likes the song. Maybe some people do, but they have to admit that Kim Kardashian’s new single is a little better. Instead, it seems people watch it to mock it. But they still consume it. They love it. Ark Music Factory is probably making tons of money off of the hit they produced. The very name ‘Ark Music Factory’ makes a Biblical reference while at the same time suggesting a sort of mass-produced inauthenticity [via Adorno and Benjamin].

The only reason this song has thrived is because of its position in a hyperreal network of signifiers. It trades on the tropes used by Justin Bieber and the tweenosphere, exposing the artificiality of the pop music industry. Her song is rich with inadvertent intertexuality and irony, reflecting all of the different facets of pop culture and exposing its own absurdity. At the same time, it ridicules the entire fame machine in which one becomes a youtube music sensation not from any musical talent but rather from manufacturing a successful meme. We have entered a hyperreal age of meme culture. ‘Rebecca Black’ is not a real live thirteen year old girl. She is a cultural artifact, an internet meme to be passed around, praised, ridiculed, and then thrown away when a new meme comes along. Remember Ted Williams? Does anyone really care about him anymore?

Notably, the entire internet has ganged up and bashed Black, calling her song ‘one of the worst songs’ in recent internet memory. Essentially, it seems like the music-blog complex is trying to preserve pop music by excluding her song from this realm. By isolating her from the pop music sphere through ridicule, they protect pop music against the same criticism of banality. By making an example of Black, they suggest that Bieber, Gomez, and every other teen star is somehow normal, acceptable, and even good.

While almost every cultural commentator on the internet has weighed in on Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’, there have been several articles of note.

-Carles of Hipster Runoff gives his own unique take on the event, but seems to miss the point that she is a postmodern genius.
-Rolling Stone’ Matthew Perpetua argues that Rebecca Black’s song is in fact  perfect parody of pop music.
-Ned Hepburn at Death + Taxes rants about the internet meme industry.
-One commenter on an online forum gives a beautiful postmodern textual analysis of the song, suggesting that Black is in fact drawing attention to her own lack of autonomy.

Updates:
-Rebecca Black recently released a new ‘unplugged’ acoustic version.
-She also gave an interview to Chris Lee at the Daily Beast.
-Sujay Kumar at Thought Catalog provides another rhetorical analysis, though not nearly as good as the commenter mentioned above.
-And finally, The New Inquiry editors Rob Horning and Malcom Harris give their own take on the meme, discussing it as a symptom of post-Fordist digital sharecropping and looking at it both in relationship to broader class systems and through the lens of the Frankfurt School, specifically Adorno and Horkheimer.

Say what you like, Rebecca Black is probably the greatest postmodern music meme since Bunny Holiday.

Faithfully,
Miles Wayfarer

I’ve had these feelings for a while now. When Arcade Fire won a Grammy, I knew we were entering a new age. But the things that have happened over spring break have really changed the way I look at life. Last weekend, I visited some friends from high school at a state university a few hours from where I grew up. I realized I could see myself there living with them, partying with them, studying with them year round. It felt too right. And I met a girl. She was unlike anyone I’ve ever met before. I felt like we instantly connected. But we only had one night together before I had to go back home. We live thousands of miles apart. And yet for one brief night, I felt so at home. I may never see her again. I don’t know.

And now I’m back home in an empty shell of a town. I lived my entire life here until moving off to college. Every street I drive down has a thousand memories. This is the road where the afterparty to my eighth grade graduation was.
And also where I first hooked up with my now ex-girlfriend one year ago. This is where my friend crashed his car while driving drunk and had to spend the summer working on a construction crew to pay for the repairs. This is where I went to eat before prom junior year.

But now there are no more stories left to write. There’s nothing left for me here. At every corner, there are shadows of my past. But we’ve all moved on, moved out. We’re all just visitors, constantly reminded of the past we shared. Everything we do in this town is just a reflection of the times we once had.

Which leads me to post-authenticity. I don’t know what it means to be authentic. Is it about being true to yourself? I don’t know myself well enough. Is it some sort of abstract quality possessed by tribes in Papua New Guinea or Pabst Blue Ribbon? I just don’t know anymore. The hipster generation fetishized the authentic while at the same time undermining its meaning. They were the post-ironic generation. But the hipster died circa 2010. We’re in a new generation. The hipster generation exposed the meaninglessness of authenticity. We can never regain true authenticity. We are the post-authentic generation.

Remember those meaningful times we had as a kid?
Remember pretending that a cardboard box was a spaceship?
Remember the pain of losing your first tooth?
Remember having that growth spurt in junior high and finally being good at basketball?
Remember the first time you shaved? Your first kiss? Prom night?
The first time you got drunk? And how your friends took care of you as you threw up in the hedge?
Remember sneaking home past curfew and trying not to wake your parents?
Remember your first day of college when your sister helped you move in and you met your roommate for the first time?
Remember freshman orientation and meeting the people that would become your best friends over the next four years?

Authenticity is dead. But we still feel pain, love, joy, sadness. Even though we can’t claim to be true to anything, even ourselves, we still have our emotions and our memories, even if they’re tainted with age. With the hipster came the death of authenticity. But with the death of the hipster, we’re left with post-authenticity. Post-authenticity is more than just post-hipsterism. It’s more than just a resurgence of meaningfulness. It’s a new generation born out of the death of the hipster, the economic recession, the state of technology, and the changes in the production of cultural goods.

Over the next weeks, I’ll continue to develop this idea of post-authenticity, exploring what it is and what it means for our generation. While my observations are certainly limited by my own position, hopefully what emerges will be a broader picture of the state of our culture in the years to come.

Faithfully,
Miles Wayfarer

Faithfully,
Miles Wayfarer

1. Sam Tsui

Sam Tsui (’11), Yale’s vicegerent of pop, has been a mainstay of the Yale music scene since he debuted in Marshall Pailet’s ‘Bat Boy’ two and a half years ago. Since then, he has been featured Oprah, Ellen, Bonnie Hunt, and other daytime television shows that appeal primarily to desperate stay-at-home moms. His gimmick includes the use of multiple Sam Tsuis on screen sing different parts. Highlights of his career include the College Musical series, his recent feature on Britney Spears’ official website, and his almost-better-than-the-original cover of ‘Just a Dream’ with Christina Grimmie.

2. Kurt ‘Hugo’ Schneider

Also trafficking in mainstreamer pop, Kurt Schneider (’10) is the man behind Sam Tsui, producing all his music and directing all his videos. Furthermore, he has produced videos for other youtube sensations such as Alex Goot and Tiffany Alvord and even sang in some of his own videos. Although he may not have the name recognition of Sam Tsui, he has had a far more productive career behind the scenes.

3. Magic Man

Has Sam Tsui been featured on Pitchfork? No. Has Magic Man? Yes. This lofi indie electronic pop duo consists of Sam Lee (’12) and his high school friend Alex Caplow. Magic Man is the Sam Tsui of the indie music scene. There’s no recent news from them, and their record company’s website is defunct. This is a band to keep an eye on.

4. Gets the Girl

Gets the Girl is the duo of Yale’s Ellis Ludwig-Leone(’11) and Columbia’s Allen Tate (’12). According to their Facebook, their band also includes three other guys. Formed when they were sixteen at rock’n'roll camp, the band claims to be an alternative band with neo-classical elements. Avi Gandhi (’10), the original Kurt Schneider, apparently is their business manager. It looks like they’re still active but just on a chill break. Gets the Girl definitely rocks the meaningful-core middle-school-nostalgia vibes via their song ‘Slow Song’.

5. Stray Balloon

I love this band. They have true indie potential, sounding like a younger much indier cross between Death Cab and Six Parts Seven. I know that may sound lame on paper, but it’s kick ass. Consisting of Richard Miron (’13) ‘and friends’, Stray Balloon will go places. They’ve promised an album by the end of the school year, so keep an eye out. The real question is, can Stray Balloon pull a Magic Man and make it to Pitchfork in the next two years?

6. Jamestown: The First Town in America

They have a super indie, almost ungoogleable name. Unfortunately, they sound like most other bluesy ska-influenced Yale bands with an a cappella-group lead singer [see Great Caesar]. Honestly, the gimmick is getting a little old, guys. Yeah, I know, you guys sound pretty good and your songs are pretty catchy. But still.

Lars Knudsen (’12) is a football player who produces catchy electronic rap/hip-hop songs. He’s probably the most unique musician on the Yale music scene right now.

8. YV and Brother K

Who are they? No idea. But they sound chill.

9. Chilled Water Supply

Chilled Water Supply is a jazz band. They play jazz. They sound cool, but all their songs sound like jazz. Their members – Jean-Luc Mosley (’12), Gabriel Zucker (’12), John Greenwalt (’12), and Orlando Hernandez (’13) – seem really chill.

10. Great Caesar

Yep. They’re still around, playing a concert in a grocery store (Arlene’s Grocery) in New York on February 19th. They’re jazzy. They’re bluesy. They’re ska influenced. They make sexy music videos. Can they make it big in the post-graduation real world?

11. Laura Zax

Laura Zax (’10), Yale’s original indie songstress sweetheart, is the first Sam Tsui. Her status is unclear. Last year, she collaborated with Theo Spielberg (’10) to form the band Northpaw and the Rambles. She toured extensively last summer, even playing at the World Expo in Shanghai. But there has been no news since. We miss you Laura Zax.

UPDATE: As Laura Zax pointed out in the comment section, she is now with the Nightime Adventure Society. They’re actually really amazing. Seriously, you should check them out.

12. The Sandy Gill Affair

It seems like the Sandy Gill Affair has been competing the Yale Battle of the Bands every year since 2002. They have a ridiculously middle-school punk poppy sound that’s impossible to hate. Their main lineup has been Colin Adamo (’10), Scott Snyder (’10), and Scott McCusker (’10) with Vlad Chituc (’12), TJ Smith (’10), and the infamous Kurt Schneider coming in and out. Where are they now? Broken up after graduation. Since then, TJ Smith has gone lofi acoustic on youtube. How does TJ Smith pull off his ultra-authentic style?

13. Suitcase of Keys

Another band that broke up after Spring Fling last year. Another borderline Jamestown/Great Caesar sound-alike, in my opinion. But they seem to be the most listenable of three, adding in a certain jazz/1970s sound that gives them an edge up.

14. Lady Lovelace and the Calculator Death Machine

Post-rock. Sounds kinda like Appleseed Cast. Defunct.

15. Cut-Rate Heroic

Died two years ago, I think. Sounds like a second-rate Sandy Gill Affair. Not even worth mentioning at this point except for the fact that it was fronted by the real Sandy Gill.

Faithfully,
Miles Wayfarer

I know appearances can be deceiving, but deep down I am who I am. Just because I wear Ray-Bans, keffiyeh scarves, fedoras, skinny jeans, Am Appy sweatshirts, and lots of plaid doesn’t make me a hipster. I don’t only listen to Pitchfork-era hipster bands like Japandroids, Neon Indian, Best Coast, and Ducktails. I also love As Tall As Lions, Jesca Hoop, Daphne Loves Derby, and Kanye West. And just because I think Animal Collective has gone way too mainstream doesn’t mean I’m a music snob who only like bands that ‘don’t even exist yet.’

Drinking PBR does not make me a hipster.
Smoking clove cigarettes does not make me a hipster.
Going to Modern Love does not make me a hipster.
Listening to vinyl records does not make me a hipster.
Using a Polaroid picture as my Myspace default does not make me a hipster.
Loving ‘I <3 Huckabees’/'Lost in Garden State’ does not make me a hipster.
Being politically apathetic does not make me a hipster.
Wanting to be in a relevant buzzband does not make me a hipster.
Wanting to move to Santa Fe or Portland does not make me a hipster.
Having a lookbook.nu profile does not make me a hipster.
Living the life depicted in ‘Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist’/'Skins’ does not make me a hipster.

I am not a hipster. I am a deep human being. I have feelings. I defy all labels. I’m just trying to be authentic. Just trying to stay relevant. Just trying to write meaningful blog posts in a post-meaningful era.

Carolyn Lipka, I am so proud of you. You are a true hero at Yale. You had the courage to stand up to society and say, ‘I am not a hipster. Mock me, taunt me, scorn me. But this is who I am.’ You give hope to us all. You can finally stop pretending to be something you’re not. Live authentically, Carolyn. Just be yourself. Develop a unique personal brand. Express your inner self. Wear authentic clothing. Listen to authentic music. Watch authentic movies. Be authentic. Don’t give in to the demands of ‘lamestream society.’ Don’t ‘water down your taste in order to conform.’ Challenge the labels placed on you. You are buzzworthy, Carolyn. You are a meme to inspire us all.

Faithfully,
Miles Wayfarer

And I began to think. Who am I? Why am I at Yale? What will I do with my life?

I think 2012 will be the end of history. Not the end of the world. The end of history. We’ve reached a post-authentic age.

Art is dead.
Poetry is dead.
Opera is dead.
Symphony is dead.
Painting is dead.
Sculpture is dying.
Photography is dead.
Bloggable indie is mainstream/dead.
Film is stale.
Post-reality television is dying [via Skins].

There’s no future for our generation. This is the end of a generation. An end to history. Everything that can be done has already been done. We are generation:Slutwave. We are media whores.

Modernism is dead.
Progress is dead.
Conceptualism is dead.
Authenticity is dead.

We are the post-hipster generation. We are all hipsters. We are the generation of hauntology. We have tasted the forbidden fruit of post-irony, and now we will be expelled from the Garden of Eden. We are aware of the nakedness of our own performativity. Progress is a sham. We are the post-modern, post-conceptual, post-authentic generation. We have nothing to our names but our insincerity. We are the end of history.

After laying on my bed thinking these thoughts for five hours, I got pretty tired of listening to Neon Indian. So I turned on Toro y Moi and sang along. It was fun.

Faithfully,
Miles Wayfarer

This “dessert” has had a long and controversial history at Yale. On the one hand, Yale Dining describes it as a “Smart Choice Item” as part of their “Eat Smart, Live Well” program. According to their website, a “Smart Choice Item” must have “less than 500 calories, less than 30% calories from fat & less than 10% saturated fat, less than 100 mg of cholesterol, and less than 600 mg of sodium.” In 2007, PETA praised Yale for it’s vegetarian friendliness, describing it as one of the nations most vegetarian-friendly campuses.

On there other hand, there has been a long history of student resistance to this supposed “dessert.” One student in the dining hall today described it as “God’s wrath” visited upon us for our sins. A Facebook group named “Apple crisp with TOFU?!? Seriously, WTF?!?” argues that while tofu dishes are normally acceptable, tofu does not belong in desserts like apple crisp. Another Facebook group “Yale students against Meatless Monday” attempts to depict a fascist food agenda at Yale, citing tofu apple crisp as the beginning of this conspiracy for promoting healthy, bad tasting food. Even Taps, Yale’s tap dance organization, has spoken out against the dish, depicting tofu apple crisp as a supervillain in their superhero themed show last spring.

The history of tofu apple crisp is fuzzy. A quick search online found few if any references to the dish outside of the context of Yale. Ultimately, as we finish our brunch and go off to the library to study, we’re left with so many unanswered questions. Who invented tofu apple crisp? When did Yale begin serving this? Who eats this? Why would anyone think putting tofu in an apple dessert was a good idea? Is this part of a vast conspiracy hatched by Richard Levin to advance his fascist “pro-tofu apple” agenda despite the pleas of the Yale community? If anyone has information, please let us know.

Etkin managed to eat ten grilled cheese, bacon, and guacamole sandwiches in thirty-two minutes, finishing with twenty-eight minutes to spare. Thus, the bacon and guacamole sandwich has now been dubbed “The Tekin.” In the beginning, he was eating roughly a sandwich a minute and described the sandwiches as “delicious.” But as time wore on, he slowed down and claimed that he may never eat “The Tekin” again.

The crowd grew as people gathered to watch. One spectator declared, “This is like an affront to God!” Some spectators took pictures while others tweeted about it. Afterward, one spectator declared that he was “aroused” by Etkin’s stunning performance of eating. By his fourth sandwich, Etkin’s friends circled him, encouraging him as he went. To one of his friends, Etkin declared, “I only did this because you said I couldn’t.”  By the end of the contest, he looked beat but was still in good spirits.

Etkin, who has  participated in many eating contests in the past, said his strategy was to eat them as fast as he could. Apparently, the cheese hardens in the stomach with time making it more difficult toward the end of the contest. Also, the dry crust can be one of the most difficult parts of the sandwich to stomach, so Etkin went to Durfee’s beforehand to buy a bottle of water and Gatorade.

Tonight, Etkin can sleep well [via Pepto Bismal] that he is the first to accomplish this feat. The previous contestant only managed to stomach seven and a quarter sandwiches and gave up with ten minutes left in the contest. This momentous day in the history of Yale, perhaps the greatest since the invention of the Wentzel, will be remembered for generations.